Setelah tanggal 7 April 2025 aku menjalani rutinitas ku seperti biasa, berangkat ke tempat magang bersama tara setiap hari-nya dan yang membuat berbeda adalah sekarang aku telah berpacaran dengan Cutina HEHEHHE. Setiap bertemu dengan Cutina di tempat magang aku selalu merasa seperti akward, biasanya sih aku orang yang humoris saat berada dengan orang yang dekat denganku tapi saat hari-hari pertama kali ber-pacaran dengan Cutina, entah aku harus bersikap bagaimana dengannya, apakah harus bersikap cool atau aku harus bersikap seperti biasa saja. Saat itu, aku merasa hubungan kita yang tahu hanyalah kita sendiri dan semua orang tau-nya kita masih berpacaran main-main. Hingga suatu ketika guru pamong aku, dimana dia yang aku jadikan alasan untuk menembak pacaran main-main dengan Cutina, dia bilang kepadaku "sepertinya kamu dengan Cutina tidak seperti pacaran" kemudian aku menjawab "kok bisa pak?" dan beliau menjawab "seharusnya kalo emang kalian ber-pacaran, harusn...
Maybe my mind immediately goes back to March 8th, 2025, two days after I confessed to Cutina. It was a Saturday, and it was also the day I had kinda... slightly promised her we would go on a night ride together. But that night, I didn’t actually meet her because I had something else to do with another person, aka my own girlfriend WKWKWK.
But after I got home, I immediately sent Cutina a haunted house reel ckckck. If I remember correctly, she replied around 30–60 minutes later, and she only said,
“maybe sometime later.”
And I think our chat ended there with some unnecessary small talk from me🫠.
After that night, I didn’t really text Cutina anymore. So maybe I’ll just skip straight to Monday, March 10th.
Like usual, I went to my internship place with Tara. I did my teaching activities, continued with coffee until noon, and when I felt satisfied enough, I went back to the internship place. When we arrived, Tara and I approached the fashion design girls who were sitting in front of the office. Cutina was there, Ani was there too, and honestly I forgot who else HEHEHE.
We chatted casually for quite a while. Then suddenly Ani said to me,
“so, did you and Cutina end up going out yesterday?”
And I answered,
“nah, it got canceled, I had something to do hehehe.”
Before I even finished talking, Cutina immediately added while laughing,
“OMDO, all talk. Imagine only sending a haunted house reel, sick banget.”
Then Ani joined in too,
“Huuu, coward.”
Nahhh maybe at that moment I felt a little challenged by what Cutina said WKWKWK. So I asked her out again for that same night. And this time, I was serious. Super serious, actually. I even planned what excuse I was going to give my girlfriend later.
Okeee after that conversation, everything was finally settled. That night, Cutina and I were going on a café date.
When it was time to go home, I reminded Cutina again through chat,
“don’t forget later.”
Long story short, I had already arrived at my boarding house with Tara. Around 5 PM, I started getting ready while also texting my girlfriend, telling her that I was tired and wanted to sleep early. Meanwhile, I was actually on my way to Cutina’s boarding house at around 6:30 PM.
Long story short again, Cutina and I finally met. Then I took her to a nearby café with a beautiful view of Batu city, at least according to me WKWKWK. There, we talked about so many things. Starting from how many siblings I have, and then she told me that she has four siblings.
Then I started talking about my friends. I told her all about their ridiculous behavior, how they acted when we drank together, and many other random stories that honestly weren’t even that important. After Cutina shared a little bit about her drinking experiences too, I finally found out that she had done those kinds of things before as well. Then she said,
“we should drink together sometime.”
And I immediately replied excitedly,
“sure, let’s do it, ayo-ayo.”
Even though, honestly, at that time I had already rarely done that kind of drinkin anymore.
Then suddenly Cutina asked,
“is this kind of playful relationship fun?”
And somehow I answered,
“it’s not really fun if we haven’t held hands yet.”
And in the end, we held hands while continuing our conversation AKHHHHHH.
I kept talking again about my family, my siblings’ funny behavior, and after a while I realized something when Cutina said while laughing,
“you really overshare a lot, huh.”
At that moment, I suddenly went quiet for a second and thought,
“yeahhh true too... why am I oversharing this much when this is supposed to be just for fun.”
At that point, trying to dodge it was already too late. I felt like I had lost a little bit of my dignity xixixi.
After that, Cutina asked again,
“what if your girlfriend finds out?”
And I immediately answered,
“let’s not talk about that.”
Then Cutina continued,
“okay then, what are the boundaries in this relationship?”
And I only gave one boundary,
“don’t talk about my girlfriend when we’re together.”
And Cutina simply replied,
“okay.”
At that moment, she didn’t set any boundaries at all for this playful relationship WKWKWK.
Then Cutina added again,
“so, what are the rules of this relationship?”
And I immediately answered,
“the rule is we’re not allowed to fall for each other. If one of us starts having feelings, then that person has to be the one who ends this relationship.”
And somehow we both agreed with my “fun” little idea back then HEHEHE.
After that, Cutina started planning our next dates. During our little discussion, Cutina first said,
“first, we do a photo booth date, then second, we drink together.”
Then I added,
“hiking, jogging,” and many other things.
But Cutina immediately said,
“that’s not fun WKWKWK.”
And honestly, she would probably never agree to heavy activities like that anyway.
So yeahhh, in the end, we agreed to start this weird relationship with those two dates first. Even though honestly, deep inside, I wasn’t serious at all about actually doing all of them. There were too many things to consider... from making excuses to my girlfriend to the fact that my wallet would suffer badly if I had to maintain two relationships like this HEHEHE.
Finally, that night ended around midnight when the café closed. And while we were walking down, Cutina said,
“life is kinda fun like this, huh.”
And I just smiled a little.
To make this story more interesting, maybe I should continue to March 12th. That day, I went out with my girlfriend and took her out to eat. But the atmosphere felt very different. She stayed quiet most of the time and only said one or two words.
After eating, we decided to just go home. I took her back to her boarding house. There, we sat together like usual. But she still stayed quiet.
I already asked,
“why are you so quiet?”
But she still said nothing.
Finally, a few minutes later, she started talking and asked to break up with me.
She explained the reason behind her decision. Basically, because she was one year older than me, and she wanted to prepare herself more seriously for the next stage of her life.
And yeah...
that was basically it.
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