Passage

Setelah tanggal 7 April 2025 aku menjalani rutinitas ku seperti biasa, berangkat ke tempat magang bersama tara setiap hari-nya dan yang membuat berbeda adalah sekarang aku telah berpacaran dengan Cutina HEHEHHE. Setiap bertemu dengan Cutina di tempat magang aku selalu merasa seperti akward, biasanya sih aku orang yang humoris saat berada dengan orang yang dekat denganku tapi saat hari-hari pertama kali ber-pacaran dengan Cutina, entah aku harus bersikap bagaimana dengannya, apakah harus bersikap cool atau aku harus bersikap seperti biasa saja. Saat itu, aku merasa hubungan kita yang tahu hanyalah kita sendiri dan semua orang tau-nya kita masih berpacaran main-main. Hingga suatu ketika guru pamong aku, dimana dia yang aku jadikan alasan untuk menembak pacaran main-main dengan Cutina, dia bilang kepadaku "sepertinya kamu dengan Cutina tidak seperti pacaran" kemudian aku menjawab "kok bisa pak?" dan beliau menjawab "seharusnya kalo emang kalian ber-pacaran, harusn...

Melanjutkan cerita permulaan aku, pada pagi itu Cutina menjawab dengan kata "iya" saat itu aku lumayan terkejut dia menerima proposal yang aku ajukan untuk menjadi pacar aku. Darisana-lah aku mulai berkomitmen kepada diri sendiri untuk melakukan hal yang terbaik kepada-nya, aku berusaha sebaik mungkin saat bersama dirinya, diingat pertemuan kita dijalani dengan hal yang melewati batas, aku tahu Cutina juga mempunyai pasangan sendiri dan dia pun tahu aku mempunyai pasangan, jadi aku tidak mengharapkan banyak kepada Cutina, aku hanya ingin melakukan terbaik meskipun dia tidak bisa membuat perasaan yang sama seperti aku kepadannya. Aku berfikir seperti itu karena aku tahu dia cantik, famous di orang-orang sekitarnya, dia kaya, dia pintar dan cutina orang yang menarik perhatian secara look maupun sifatnnya. Sebenarnya aku merasa taruhan saja saat mengajak dia menjadi pacar aku, karena terlepas dari yang dia punyai itu, aku merasa dia mempunyai kepintaran dalam emosional di mana d...

Setelah aku putus dengan pacarku dengan baik-baik, aku melanjutkan keseharian aku seperti biasa. Pagi berangkat ke tempat magang sampai sore hari. Tapi saat itu, aku mulai semakin dekat lagi sama Cutina. Aku mulai masakin dia juga. Waktu itu aku masak dari rumah terus aku bawa ke kost dia. Menunya lele sama sayur bobor. Tapi yaaa… yang aku masak cuma sayur bobornya aja sih, lelenya aku beli HEHEHEHE. Kemudian aku juga mulai merealisasikan planning date kita, yaitu photo booth di tanggal 19 Maret. Tapi waktu itu kita bukan cuma photo booth aja sih. Kita pergi ke bar juga, karena aku merasa mainnya masih kurang cukup WKWKWK. Akhirnya setelah dari bar kita pindah lagi ke cafe. Pokoknya malam itu kita muter terus, dan mungkin baru pulang sekitar jam 3 pagi. Setelah hari itu, waktu di tempat magang, Cutina juga sempet nawarin aku ikut main sama temen-temennya di cafe. Sebenernya dia ngga maksa sih, tapi aku yang malah maksa ikut HEHEHEHE. Aku waktu itu ngasih alasan, “hard copy photo boo...

After I broke up with my girlfriend on good terms, I continued my daily routine as usual. Every morning I went to my internship place until the afternoon. But during that time, I started getting even closer to Cutina. I even started cooking for her. One time, I cooked food at home and brought it to her boarding house. The menu was fried catfish and sayur bobor. But yeahhh… to be honest, I only cooked the sayur bobor, I bought the catfish HEHEHEHE. Then I also started realizing our date plans, starting with our photo booth date on March 19th. But that day, we didn’t just do a photo booth session. We also went to a bar because I felt like hanging out once wasn’t enough WKWKWK. After the bar, we moved to a café again. Basically, we kept going from one place to another, and I think we only got home around 3 AM. After that day, while we were at the internship place, Cutina also invited me to hang out with her friends at a café. She didn’t force me to come or anything, but I was the one f...

Maybe my mind immediately goes back to March 8th, 2025, two days after I confessed to Cutina. It was a Saturday, and it was also the day I had kinda... slightly promised her we would go on a night ride together. But that night, I didn’t actually meet her because I had something else to do with another person, aka my own girlfriend WKWKWK. But after I got home, I immediately sent Cutina a haunted house reel ckckck. If I remember correctly, she replied around 30–60 minutes later, and she only said, “maybe sometime later.” And I think our chat ended there with some unnecessary small talk from me🫠. After that night, I didn’t really text Cutina anymore. So maybe I’ll just skip straight to Monday, March 10th. Like usual, I went to my internship place with Tara. I did my teaching activities, continued with coffee until noon, and when I felt satisfied enough, I went back to the internship place. When we arrived, Tara and I approached the fashion design girls who were sitting in front of the...

Mungkin aku langsung mengingat ke tanggal 8 Maret 2025, dua hari setelah aku menembak Cutina. Dan itu adalah hari Sabtu, di mana itu adalah hari yang telah aku yaaa.... sedikit janjikan buat night ride sama dia. Tapi  waktu itu aku ngga menemuinya sih… karena aku ada urusan sama orang lain alias pacar aku sendiri WKWKWK. Tapi habis pulang dari main, aku langsung membagikan reels rumah hantu ke Cutina ckckck. Seingat aku dia baru balas sekitar 30-60 menit kemudian, dan dia cuma bilang, “boleh kapan-kapan.” Dan kayaknya setelah itu chat kita diakhiri sama basa-basi aku yang ngga penting🫠. Setelah malam itu aku udah ngga chatan lagi sama Cutina. Jadi mungkin aku langsung aja lompat ke hari Senin tanggal 10 Maret. Seperti biasa aku berangkat ke tempat magang bareng Tara. Terus aku melakukan kegiatan ngajar aku, lanjut ngopi sampe siang hari, dan kalo udah kerasa cukup baru balik lagi ke tempat magang. Pas sampe tempat magang, aku sama Tara nyamperin anak-anak cewe tata busana yang ...

After having coffee with Cutina that night, I went back to my boarding house as usual. When I arrived, I immediately sent an anniversary message to my girlfriend because at that time we were in a long-distance relationship. At the same time, I had also prepared everything for her birthday, which was only two days away. Finally, the day came, my girlfriend’s birthday. In the morning, I went to my internship place like usual. When I arrived there, I met my mentor teacher, let’s just call him Mr. Iwan. Suddenly, he came to me and said, “With that many girls around you, none of them can be your girlfriend?” Meaning that none of them could “get caught” by me CKCKCK. At that time, I casually answered, “Relax, sir. Soon there will be one.” “Who?” he asked. While smiling, I answered, “Maybe Cutina HEHEHE.” After that conversation, I continued my activities as usual. Because it was Ramadan, most of the activities were only classroom sessions, so honestly it was pretty boring because we staye...

Setelah malam ngopi bareng Cutina, aku pulang ke kontrakan seperti biasa. Sampai di kontrakan aku langsung kirim pesan anniversary ke pacarku, karena waktu itu aku masih LDR sama dia. Di saat yang sama aku juga sudah nyiapin buat ulang tahunnya yang tinggal dua hari lagi. Akhirnya hari itu tiba, hari ulang tahun pacarku. Pagi harinya aku berangkat magang seperti biasa. Pas sampai di sana aku ketemu sama guru pembimbingku, sebut aja Pak Iwan. Tiba-tiba beliau nyamperin aku terus bilang, “Masak cewek sebanyak itu nggak ada yang kenak?” Alias nggak ada yang bisa dipacarin CKCKCK. Aku yang waktu itu santai aja langsung jawab, “Tenang aja pak, habis ini ada yang kenak kok.” “Siapa?” tanya beliau. Aku sambil senyum jawab, “Cutina mungkin HEHEHE” Habis ngobrol gitu aku lanjut kegiatan seperti biasa. Karena lagi bulan puasa, kegiatannya lebih banyak materi di kelas aja, jadi ya lumayan bosen karena dari pagi cuma di kelas terus. Siang harinya setelah ngajar aku pergi ke kantor dan kumpul sa...

March 3rd, 2025 That day felt pretty normal. After my internship shift ended, I went home alone. Tara was still back in her hometown, so from the morning until that moment, I had been by myself. Somehow, going straight back to the boarding house felt a little lonely. Instead of heading directly home, I decided to stop by a coffee shop first. Just to wait for Maghrib, hehe. Sitting alone, coffee on the table, the atmosphere was pretty calm… while thinking about meaningful things — which basically meant playing games. In the middle of my boredom, I suddenly remembered Afi’s invitation to hang out for coffee earlier that afternoon, hehe. So I immediately texted Cutina, just to ask whether she was joining or not. But I didn’t ask casually. I explained things at length — you could say I was slightly provoking her so she would come along. Basically, just a lot of small talk 😊 Long story short, Cutina finally “gave in,” maybe because my messages were way too long and painfully stale, and s...

  3 Maret 2025. Hari itu seperti biasa, setelah jam pulang magang tiba, aku pulang sendirian. Tara masih di kampung halamannya, jadi perjalanan kali ini aku sendirian dari pagi tadi. Entah kenapa rasanya agak sepi jika langsung ke kontrakan. Daripada langsung pulang ke kontrakan, aku memutuskan mampir ke tempat ngopi dulu. Sekalian nunggu maghrib, hehehe. Duduk sendirian, kopi di meja, suasana lumayan tenang… sambil memikirkan hal-hal yang ber-makna, alias main game aja. Di tengah-tengah waktu aku sedikit bosan, terus kepikiran rencana ajakan ngopi Afi siang tadi, hehehe. Dari situ aku langsung chat Cutina, sekadar nanya dia jadi ikut atau nggak. Tapi aku nggak nanya biasa aja, aku jelasin panjang lebar, ya bisa dibilang sedikit provokasi biar dia mau ikut, intinya basa-basi😊. Singkat cerita, Cutina akhirnya “menyerah” mungkin karena aku terlalu panjang chatnya hingga sangat basi, dan dia bilang mau ikut ngopi nanti malam. Tapi ada syarat: harus ada yang jemput, karena jarak kos...

On March 1st, 2025, it was the beginning of Ramadan, and my internship place was on a long holiday break. I was still at home and planned to return to my boarding house on Sunday because work would start again on Monday. On Saturday night, my WhatsApp suddenly rang. When I checked it, it turned out to be a message from Cutina. “Are you coming on Monday?” I simply replied, “No.” Even though I had actually planned to come on Monday 🙂 I just wanted to surprise her somehow, maybe for attention, maybe like a small surprise. It’s weird—whenever it has something to do with Cutina, I start feeling like a little kid again. I get excited over something as simple as meeting someone I like. But after that, Cutina told me to come anyway. “Just come. Bring your badminton racket too.” She insisted that I bring my racket, so in the end, I agreed. The next morning, on Monday, she texted me again. “Are you coming today?” And I replied… “No.” Even though I was already near the internship place 🫠 Sin...

1 Maret 2025, waktu itu awal puasa dan tempat magang lagi libur panjang. Aku lagi di rumah, rencananya baru balik ke kontrakan hari Minggu karena hari Senin udah mulai masuk lagi. Sabtu malam, tiba-tiba WhatsApp bunyi. Pas aku lihat, ternyata Cutina yang chat. “Senin masuk?” Aku jawab aja, “ngga.” Padahal sebenernya aku emang udah ada niatan masuk hari Senin 🙂 cuma entah kenapa pengen bikin kaget dia, alias caper, mirip surprise lah. Aneh sih, tiap ada hubungannya sama Cutina aku jadi ngerasa kayak anak kecil lagi. Kayak seneng sendiri cuma gara-gara mau ketemu orang yang disuka. Tapi habis itu Cutina malah nyuruh aku masuk. “Masuk aja, bawa raket juga.” Dia kekeh banget nyuruh bawa raket, dan yaudah akhirnya aku iyain aja. Besoknya, hari Senin pagi, dia chat lagi. “Kamu masuk ngga hari ini?” Dan aku jawab… “Ngga.” Padahal posisi aku udah ada di area tempat magang 😭 Cuma karena datang agak telat, aku belum langsung masuk kantor. Jadi aku nunggu dulu sampai acara pagi selesai. Pas ...

That night finally came. Tara and I started getting ready to go to the badminton court. But at that time, I still had a girlfriend. So before leaving, I took a moment to think about what I should say. In the end, I told her that I was going to play badminton with my internship friends. Once again, my apologies, everyone… I didn’t tell her that it was actually Cutina who invited me to be her doubles partner 😌. I also didn’t mention that there would only be four of us playing, and that we would be paired up as doubles teams. Looking back now, I honestly don’t know why I felt uneasy about telling the whole truth. I guess I just wanted to enjoy playing badminton peacefully without making things complicated. Long story short, Tara and I arrived at the badminton court. That night, there were me, Tara, Cutina, Ani, and one more girl who hadn’t originally been part of the plan—Risa, a friend from the same faculty as Cutina and Ani. As previously decided—though honestly I don’t even remember...

Malam itu akhirnya tiba. Aku dan Tara mulai siap-siap pergi ke lapangan badminton. Tapi di waktu itu, aku masih punya pacar. Jadi sebelum berangkat, aku sempat mikir dulu mau ngomong apa. Aku akhirnya bilang kalau aku mau main badminton sama teman-teman magang. Sekali lagi punten nih teman-teman… aku nggak bilang kalau sebenarnya Cutina yang ngajak aku jadi partner tim 😌. Dan aku juga nggak bilang kalau kita mainnya cuma berempat, bahkan pakai sistem pasangan lagi. Entah kenapa kalau dipikir sekarang, waktu itu aku agak risau buat ngomong seadanya. Padahal sebenarnya aku cuma pengen main badminton dengan tenang aja. Singkat cerita, aku dan Tara sampai di lapangan badminton. Waktu itu ada aku, Tara, Cutina, Ani, dan satu lagi cewek yang sebelumnya nggak ada di planning, yaitu Risa—teman satu fakultasnya Cutina dan Ani. Sesuai ketentuan sebelumnya, entah siapa yang nentuin, akhirnya aku pasangan sama Cutina melawan Tara dan Ani. Pertandingan pun dimulai. Dan yup… sesuai prediksi 😌. C...

Seperti biasa, rutinitasku waktu itu ya gitu-gitu aja. Pagi berangkat magang, sore pulang, besok ngulang lagi. Kadang seru kalau lagi banyak aktivitas, tapi kalau lagi kosong dan cuma nunggu jam ngajar, jujur aja kadang bosan juga. Jadi setiap ada waktu luang, walaupun belum jam istirahat, aku selalu cari kegiatan “positif”. Alias… ngopi di warung depan😄 Biasanya aku pergi sama teman kostku. Kita bahkan sempat bikin kesepakatan biar nggak keterusan nongkrong, “ngopi cukup 30–60 menit aja.” Walaupun kenyataannya aturan itu sering banget kita improve jadi hampir 2 jam… hehehe. Hari itu aku cuma ngopi sekitar sejam, habis itu balik lagi ke tempat magang. Pas sampai, aku duduk santai di depan kantor sama temanku. Nggak lama kemudian, Cutina sama dua temannya datang dari arah samping dan ikut duduk di depan kantor juga. Awalnya ngobrol biasa aja. Sampai di tengah obrolan, tiba-tiba Cutina nanya, “Kamu jago nggak main badminton?” Karena gengsi sebagai cowo lumayan tinggi waktu itu, aku s...

As usual, my routine back then was pretty much the same every day. I went to my internship in the morning, came home in the afternoon, and repeated everything again the next day. Sometimes it was fun when there were a lot of activities, but when things got quiet and I just had to wait for my teaching schedule, honestly, it could get pretty boring. So whenever I had free time, even before break time, I always looked for something “productive” to do. Which basically meant… getting coffee at the stall across the street😄 I usually went there with my boarding house friend. We even made an agreement so we wouldn’t spend too much time hanging out there: “Let’s keep it between 30–60 minutes only.” Even though, in reality, we somehow kept improving that limit into almost two hours… hehehe. That day, I only stayed there for about an hour before heading back to my internship place. When I arrived, I sat down casually in front of the office with my friend. Not long after that, Cutina and her tw...

Pada saat itu akhirnya aku mendapatkan rutinitas baru. Yang awalnya pergi ke kampus dengan jadwal fleksibel, kadang masuk pagi, kadang siang, tergantung kelas dan tergantung niat juga wkwk. Sekarang semuanya berubah. Jam 6 pagi harus berangkat ke tempat magang, lalu pulang sekitar jam setengah 4 sore. Awalnya lumayan kaget sih karena ritme hidup langsung berubah. Hari demi hari berjalan, dan ternyata nggak butuh waktu lama buat akrab dengan teman-teman di sana. Kebetulan mereka juga cewek semua, jadi menurut aku lebih gampang aja buat membangun obrolan dan akrab. Mungkin aku juga kebawa sama temen kost aku. Dia ini orangnya gampang banget akrab sama orang lain, alias nggak punya malu 😁. Setiap ada kesempatan pasti aja ngobrol sama teman-teman cewek di tempat magang. Bisa dibilang ya… genit banget. Suatu ketika, temen kost aku iseng minta salah satu teman cewek asistensi aku, sebut aja namanya Ani, buat tukeran id-card. Jadi dia pakai id-card-nya Ani, dan Ani pakai id-card dia. ...

At that time, I finally got a new routine. Before this, going to campus was pretty flexible—sometimes I had morning classes, sometimes afternoon, depending on the schedule… and honestly, depending on my mood too lol. But now everything changed. I had to leave at 6 a.m. for my internship and only got home around 3:30 p.m. At first, it was kind of shocking because my daily rhythm changed instantly. As the days went by, it didn’t actually take long for me to get close to the people there. Coincidentally, they were all girls, so for me it felt easier to start conversations and get along. Maybe I was also influenced by my boarding house friend. He’s the type of person who can get close to anyone easily—basically has no shame 😁. Whenever there’s a chance, he’ll start talking to the girls at the internship. You could say… yeah, he’s pretty flirty. One day, my friend decided to mess around. He asked one of my female assistant friends—let’s just call her Ani—to swap ID cards. So he wore Ani’...

The first day of the teaching assistance program finally arrived. That morning, it was raining heavily while we were on the way to the placement site. I was riding with a friend, and we decided to pull over for a while and have breakfast at a soto place—pretty good timing to recharge, hehe. Around 6:30 AM, we continued the trip. Once we arrived, we immediately joined the Monday flag ceremony and started meeting the other teaching assistant participants. After that, we had introductions and did some observation, looking at the environment where we would be carrying out our activities. Towards midday, we gathered for a small meeting. We discussed plans for taking photos for our ID cards. During that time, I also started paying attention to the new people around me, trying to understand each of their personalities 🙂 In the middle of that, I whispered to my friend and asked, “Which one is the girl you said was funny—the one who just says random things?” He just responded with a facial exp...

Maybe the beginning of this blog journey started on February 8, 2025. It was the rainy season in my college town, and I had just entered my 6th semester. In this semester, all education students in my department were required to join a teaching assistance program, commonly known as PKL. It was a Saturday. I started the day like usual: waking up early and doing something “productive” on the weekend—playing Mobile Legends for 6 hours 😊. On that same day, the teaching assistance group chat suddenly became active, discussing plans to gather at a café. At first, I had no intention of going, for the classic reason: being “busy”… which really meant being lazy 😊. I sometimes feel reluctant to join gatherings that aren’t about playing games, because the conversations often feel like a waste of time. But in the end, I went anyway, hehe. My housemate insisted I come along. Long story short, we arrived there around 7 PM. Some friends were already there: a total of 13 people, 3 guys from my depar...