last beginning

After I broke up with my girlfriend on good terms, I continued my daily routine as usual. Every morning I went to my internship place until the afternoon. But during that time, I started getting even closer to Cutina.

I even started cooking for her. One time, I cooked food at home and brought it to her boarding house. The menu was fried catfish and sayur bobor. But yeahhh… to be honest, I only cooked the sayur bobor, I bought the catfish HEHEHEHE.

Then I also started realizing our date plans, starting with our photo booth date on March 19th. But that day, we didn’t just do a photo booth session. We also went to a bar because I felt like hanging out once wasn’t enough WKWKWK. After the bar, we moved to a café again. Basically, we kept going from one place to another, and I think we only got home around 3 AM.

After that day, while we were at the internship place, Cutina also invited me to hang out with her friends at a café. She didn’t force me to come or anything, but I was the one forcing myself to join HEHEHEHE.

At that time, I used the excuse,

“our photo booth hard copies still haven’t been printed yet, so let me pick them up and I’ll pick you up too so we can hang out xixixi.”

But honestly, I just wanted to come with her.

At that time, I felt really happy. Because many of the things I did with her were completely new to me. New places, new activities, new experiences that I had never visited or done before.

Then we didn’t meet for almost two weeks because of the holiday break. During that time, I kept looking for excuses to text her. Whether it was asking about internship reports, activity photos, or anything else. Basically, I looked for every possible reason just so I could talk to her.

And somehow, I always texted her at night. At first it was just normal chatting, but slowly I started turning it into video calls until morning HEHEHE.

At that time, I also kept trying to find topics to talk about. Sometimes I even tested her feelings a little bit. I once asked,

“when will this relationship get an upgrade?”

Then Cutina sent a joke sticker that said,

“I’ll wait until you break up.”

And at that moment, I started thinking,

“I can’t keep doing this forever.”

That was when I realized that I actually liked Cutina. But at the same time, I still kept wondering whether she already had a boyfriend or not.

Eventually, I went to Malang to hang out with my friend. There, I asked for advice about whether I should confess to Cutina or not. And my friend fully supported me and told me to just confess already.

Then during the holiday celebration, I also asked my younger sibling for advice. And they gave me the same answer.

That was when I finally decided to confess to Cutina during our second date: drinking together. I had already planned everything with her through chat, and we scheduled the second date two days before our internship started again.

Long story short, on April 6th we met again. I went to her boarding house around 6 PM. At first, we just talked casually. And the conversation I remember the most was when Cutina asked me,

“what do you think about guys and girls being just friends?”

Then I answered,

“I don’t think it’s possible, because one of them will definitely end up liking the other.”

Then Cutina replied,

“hmmm I actually do have a male best friend, but once I become friends with someone, I don’t want to change the relationship into dating. That’s why I’d rather just stay friends.”

At that moment, I just smiled. Because funny enough, later that night I was already planning to confess my feelings to her WKWKWK.

Eventually, we went to my rented house around 10 PM and started our date. I played guitar even though I only knew a few songs, then we drank together and also played Uno.

After sitting there for quite a while, I started getting bored and asked Cutina to go outside so the conversation would feel more comfortable. But at that point, I had already started feeling dizzy, maybe around 70%, and nauseous around 80%.

Then while we were talking outside, I asked her,

“what if I like you?”

And Cutina immediately replied,

“then what about your girlfriend?”

At that time, I was still hiding the fact that I had already broken up. So whenever our conversations touched that topic, I acted normally as if I was still in a relationship.

Finally, I answered,

“I already broke up.”

And Cutina immediately looked unconvinced.

“seriously? Then why are your reposts with her still in your Instagram highlights?”

And I just answered,

“I don’t know.”

After that conversation, I was actually ready to confess to her.

But the problem was… why did my dizziness and nausea suddenly become 100%🫠.

And in the end, I threw up.

SIT MEN.

At that moment, I immediately thought,

“what is happening to my dignity right now.”

I was about to confess, but instead I threw up first WKWKWK.

Eventually, Cutina brought me back inside, and I fell asleep around 1 AM.

Puntennnn🙏🙏🙏.

I slept really well and woke up around 8 in the morning. And honestly, when I woke up and saw Cutina beside me, I felt really happy.

At that moment, we started talking again. I hugged her a little and said,

“actually, I think I like you around 5%, do you want to date me?”

Hmmm… I only said 5% as a gimmick. Because honestly, at that point I probably already liked her 100%.

Then Cutina replied,

“why is there even a percentage?”

And I answered,

“it’s fine, it’s just a level. If you accept me, then that’s great. But if you reject me, how about we just continue this playful relationship instead?”

Honestly, I still wanted to stay close to Cutina for a longer time. That’s why I gave her those two options. And the extra “5%” thing was just to make it sound more fun… and also because I was scared of rejection HEHEHE.

In the end, I told Cutina to think about it for around 10 minutes.

And her answer was……